loving (and letting go) of the void in another

it’s heart-squeezing, heart-twisting, heart-aching, and even heartbreaking to give love to a person who doesn’t (yet?) have the capacity to receive it. the oneness, the sovereignty of a spiritual journey is a curious phenomenon of the human experience. all we want is connection, and yet we, inevitably, both are born into this world and depart from it utterly alone — no matter how many people are physically present for those events.

one of the hardest relationship truths to swallow is that a person can only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves. if they haven’t extended grace and compassion to their shadowiest parts, if they haven’t wrestled with their own inner hunger and held it lovingly as it tried to scratch its way out of their arms, only to exhaust itself and fall asleep among its own blood and skin fragments… then they simply won’t be able to hold yours.

and what do we deserve more than love? what is more essential to the journey of accepting love than giving oneself the permission to stand in one’s own worthiness. you are worthy of the deepest understanding, knowing, acceptance. i recall one of my morning affirmations — i am loved, i am understood, i am known, i am accepted, i am love. because truly, to be loved is to be understood and known, without judgement. the safest wellspring for that love is yourself. and, once in awhile, you may find someone who knows where that wellspring is, who has the tattered map in their own pocket, too. and then, and only then, can they meet you by that sacred body of water, where you drink together, where you draw water for each other.

if you find that your beloved is not yet familiar with the path, it is essential to move forward with loving detachment — no matter how much it bleeds. every wound runs out of blood, coagulation a natural force of self-protection and healing. you will find the love that you seek, and perhaps more importantly, you must believe that it exists. and when you close the portal that does not lead to the wellspring, another will be opened — letting go is divine communication, a message to your guides that you’re ready to receive.

i hold your heart. we will hold it together, if you will let me.